Go Forth!
by Livi2Jack
Summary: Mini Jack gets his first high school date. Being a teenager again is problematic. I laughed writing it. Stream of consciousness point of view.


Go Forth

By Livi2Jack

Summary: Mini-Jack has his first high school date.

Characters: Mini-Jack

Season: Seven

Post Fragile Balance 703

Rating: Teen.

Pairings: Mini-Jack/Other

* * *

What the hell was I thinking?

Jonathan Jack O'Neill what would your mother say?

Nothing, she's dead.

No, actually, momma was a test tube. Asgaard sonsofbitches fooling around.

Crap.

If I don't score soon, I'll scream. This school is loaded with skirt. I think about that, a lot.

Over there. That one. The one in the skirt. Why do I like them in skirts? Conditioning. Aversion.

I hate seeing them all covered up in camouflage. Reminds me of someone I can't have. Ever.

Why would a pretty young girl wear camouflage? There goes another one in camouflage. Is it some fashion statement? Ugh. Women were born to wear skirts. I like them in skirts. Or dresses. Or naked.

I can't figure out why some of them even bother to wear any clothes. Most of it reveals too much. Don't they know a little mystery is exciting?

Little is the operative word with these chicks. Skimpy tiny itsy bitsy pieces of cloth. Not even colorful skimpy bits of fluff.

Leather on a fifteen year-old? It's a freaking dog collar, hello? Yeah ok I got it. You're a bitch. D'oh.

Black. They all wear black. Ugh. Why would a pretty young thing wear black all over?

There's another one. Black from head to toe. Covered and not covered. Not even charmingly covered.

This one has spikes sticking out for crying out loud. And not just from the clothing, she's got some sticking out of ...her tongue?

eeeeEEEEWWWWwwwww. That's just not right!

Although?... Could be kinky.

Kinky is looking at fifteen year-old underage jailbait, pal. Don't kid yourself.

Dweeb alert! Yikes! Something about those geeky girls really gets to me now. Will any of them turn into a swan? Like her?

Forget that and go forth! You can have the cheerleaders, the counter-culture babes, the troublemakers, the motorcycle mommas, the perky ones.

You know how to do this now. Not like the last time. Boy oh boy not like the last time.

Still waters run deep.

The dweeb isn't so bad when she smiles. Different hair. Contacts. Lose the bulky sweater. Possibilities.

Too much work.

Uh Oh. Got one yammering something at me. Yeah, she's cute.

Me likey.

Asking me something? The Dance? In the gym? A sock hop? They don't call them sock hops anymore. Sure why not?

I GOT ME A DATE!

I no got me a car.

So how do I take out a date? I didn't think about this part. Aw this is just peachy. I should have had them make my age 16. Then I could get a license. I wonder. Can I still do it? Ack! They enrolled me here as a 15 yr old. Now why didn't I think about that?

DMV. Search. Gimme those rules. C'mon, Blackberry is so slow.

Great! I can get a learner's permit at 15 1/2. Aw no, no, I have to have an 'adult' in the car WITH me? I AM AN ADULT!

What?

NO! NOOOOO! I am sooo not a kid.

In Colorado, I have to have a permit for 12 months before I can get a real license at 16 1/2? When did they raise the age from 16 to 16 1/2?

Oy.

What? What now? I need someone to sign an Affidavit of Liability before I can even have the permit? I'm an 'emancipated minor.' They don't care?

It gets worse? Let me see that.

" if you are under 18 you cannot drive a vehicle carrying a passenger under 21 unless you have held your Driver's License for at least 6 months. And, you cannot drive a vehicle carrying more than one passenger under 21 unless you have held your Driver's License for at least one year."

Huh?

There's more?

"There are also new restrictions on the time of day that you can drive. If you are under 18 you cannot drive between the hours of 12 midnight and 5 a.m. unless you have held your Driver's License for at least one year."

Hey, here's an out. Sorta.

"unless you are an emancipated minor but your parent(s) or guardian(s) have not canceled your license."

What about a motorcycle. What? Same deal?

But I don't have a license and can't get one until I have the learner's permit for a year and I'm not eligible before Friday night.

This just gets better and better.

So I can fly a space ship across the galaxy but I can't drive a date to the school dance?

This is just wrong on so many levels.

I just want to say that this was a poorly planned operation. And I want to state for the record that someone screwed up. I intend to take this up with Thor. I saved their skinny grey butts from the Replicators and THIS is the thanks I get? They can't leave me like this. I mean it. They can't do this to ME!

I just saved the world at least 8 times. But I can't drive a girl to the dance!

I don't get it. They shrink me and leave me with no wheels!

What?

Umm, I feel something hurting.

Ack! I'm growing another zit.

This sucks.

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:** "Stargate SG-1" and "Stargate Atlantis" and all their characters are the property of Sony-MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Film Corp., Showtime/Viacom and USA Networks, Inc. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the author(s), and may not be republished or archived elsewhere without the author's permission. 


End file.
